welcome
to yoururl.blogspot.com
be my escape- relient k
I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.
I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You
So were You
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Title:
Comments:
I've realised that I haven't been able to sit down and formulate my thoughts or write them down in a while. Perhaps you could say I've beeen busy to a certain extent but I think I'm just really lazy. As a result, I believe that my brains have grown all mouldy from lack of use. Not to mention that I have not written or composed a complete sentence in chinese since June. School's reopening in less than a dozen days, and trust me, that is not a comforting fact to be confronted with. And in all honesty, it's a little too late to try to simulate my brain into conveying vaguely useful electric signals.
Time has passed quickly this holiday, along with a large chuck of my parent's finances (all thanks to yours truly). Well, I haven't done All that I've wanted to do but I did get Some done and I am pleased to state that my holidays have not been a complete waste of time. Imagine that. :)
With x'mas and new year right around the corner, 2004 has more or less, come to a close. Not a particularly memorable year, but it has more than its share of kodak moments. Immense heartbreak, followed by changes, both emotionally and physically, has taught me to grow up. Towards the end of the year came a period of self-realisation and I learnt to let go of much of the emotional luggage that I had carried around for a good 9 months or more. I've learnt to love and cherish the people who have silently stood by me and I've found God again. I wasn't a devout christian growing up, and due to my mainstream non-conformist attitude, I doubt I will ever be. But I have learnt to accept the presence of God in my life and not to question His doings.
There is so much I want to say about 2004 but somehow, many things, many changes will always remain my secrets. There's no need to explain some things, because try as you may, you can never please everyone with your explainations.
Some people say that I've changed for the worse. Fine, it's a free world and everyone's entitled to their own opinions. But may I enquire as to the reason behind this train of thoughts?
"Oh...she said you did this, he said you did that..."
Err. Anyone ever thought of asking yours truly about what Really happened? So just because I didn't make a big fuss or threaten to take someone's head off automatically makes me guilty of all those outrageous rumours?
It's funny (and fucking depressing) how friends who've known me for so long or who are so close to me can simply accept these rumours as facts and condemmed me to hell. Come on. You've got to know me better than that. Have you actually stopped and thought for a moment if I would Really do what others have said I've done? Based on your knowledge on My character? I've made mistakes in my life, but what I'm supposed to have done in such rumours are so completely outrageoues that I'll be tempted to luagh IF it wasn't so heartbreaking to see your friends actually believing in it.
Most people know that rumours are usually either conversation taken out of contexts, misunderstandings or born of malice intent. So why are people still believing in Everything that the rumour mills churn out? Say anything you want, but I am refusing to believe that people are naive. I mean, we're not!
It's just that people choose to believe without questioning the creditability or truth of the rumours. If you hear something, think before you spread it on to the next person. Based on what you know of that person, would he/she really have done this? If you can't answer that question, ask him/her. then use your god-given brains to decide which side of the fence you're standing on. Sadly, the side with the bigger number of people isn't always the correct side.
The truth sounds bad but I'm not going to sugarcoat it this time. I'm guilty of everything I've raised in this entry but I do try, to reserve my judgement until I can better figure out the truth from the untruths. At least I do now.
So next time you hear something from your friend, no matter how close (never forget that he/she may not like your other friend), please stop for a moment to think. And I think we'll find the world a much nicer place to live in. Because, trust me, it REALLY HURTS when you're the butt of the joke. And like alicia keys sings,
what comes around goes around, what goes up must come down.
So spare a thought for your friend's feelings. Cus it's your friends who'll help you through your hardest times. No man is an island. :)
To be continued....
